I'm Ella, the picture above is of my best friend and I, there's no one in this world who understands me better than he does and he means more to me than I can explain and I'm grateful for everything he does for me. My little brother Shane is my strength and my hope, he's the reason I'm still here and I would give up anything for him to be happy. He is my precious baby brother and I'll do everything in my power to protect him and make him happy. My mum is the most amazing woman I have ever met, she has raised both Shane and I to be good people with respect and boundaries and there's nothing I could do to express how grateful I am. I love them more than words can say.
Enjoy my blog :)

is ugh an emotion cause i feel it all the time

Wow.

I’m at home, my auntie has gone away for work and my cousin is sleeping. I got so bored I decided to go through my computer and clear out half the shit that I don’t need, I came across a screenshot of a conversation I had with my uncles wife after I got put through some bad stuff in April last year. I feel so broken right now, it’s like as soon as I try to forget about it and move on I’m reminded of what they did to me and I’m back to square one. I’m still so confused and so hurt by it all and I still can’t even believe it happened. I don’t know what to do with myself, I feel like I’ll never get past it and like I’ll never manage to move on from it. 

I dream about it all the time and my dreams are just like reality, me in pain and both of you happy as ever. I get constant flashbacks of things that happened that night and with each flashback it’s like a stab to the stomach, I just can’t do this anymore. I need help. 

I’m so emotional right now I just want to go home and see my mum and my brother and my Craigy. I don’t have the patience to put up with this anymore, I need my family and my loved ones.